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I Am Here

By:Kathy Nelson
Date: Thu,19 Mar 2009
Submitter:Julie Pearce

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In 1990 I was invited to play an original song at a christening of a baby boy named Noah. 18 years later I was contacted again to play the same song for Noah's memorial service. Upon hearing the news of his sudden death (drowning), my thoughts went immediately to the parents and how hard it must be for them to lose their son, so young in life, and my heart went out to them.

Then I thought of Noah. Who was he, what was he like? I never knew him. And yet I have the honor of being included in both his christening and his memorial. Did we have a spiritual connection? Where is he now? What's it like there? Thoughts flowed, spirit, formless, free, home. Acknowledging his spirit, I innocently said, "Hello Noah, how's it going?" Suddenly I felt a big, expansive, happy, excited presence in my midst or in my mind or in my mood, I couldn't tell. Suddenly I was having thoughts about writing a song, co-writing a song with Noah. And the words: I am here, kept running through my mind. Was this the spirit of Noah or my imagination? I couldn't deny I felt inspired. And what does inspired mean but to be in spirit. And if a spirit was to communicate to me, wouldn't it be through thought and inspiration. It would be fun to co-write a song. But I also felt a lot of resistance and began to mentally voice them as if I was talking to Noah's spirit. This is the short story of that conversation:

Me: The memorial service is tomorrow. I've never written a song in so short a time frame. Then I have to perform it. I don't like to perform new songs unless I have a lot of time to practice. I have other things I have to do. I have to wash my hair, go to the store, I need to do some yoga, make dinner, etc. There's not enough time. I don't think I can do this.

Noah: Don't worry, I'll supply the ideas. It will be short and simple. The ideas will come as you're doing other things. Stay open and just write as the ideas come. Be spontaneous. It will be short and simple enough to have time to practice.

Me: What's the title, theme?

Noah: I Am Here! It will be a re-occuring theme throughout.

Me: I was only invited to play one song. What if your parents don't want me to play another song? What do I say to them: Oh your son who I never knew wants me to play this song we co-wrote yesterday?

Noah: Yes. This is the message I want them to hear. They are grieving and can't hear me right now and I want to re-assure them that I am here and that I love them. Don't worry, they won't think you're crazy. Speak to my mom before the service begins. She will agree to include the song.
Suddenly a couple lines of verse came to me and I wrote them down. The wording didn't sound like the lingo of an 18 yr old nor something I would write, but an eternal spirit might phrase it that way. I tried re-wording it but something inside me said "Let it go." I felt inspired to pick up my guitar and immediately started playing a chord progression and humming a melody. I tried the words out on the melody and they fit perfectly. Well, maybe this won't take so long, I thought. Okay, what's the next verse? Nothing came. I decided to wash my hair and another line came. I memorized it till I could get to pen and paper. In short, every line of the song came to me while I was doing other things and the final lines came as I was driving to church for the service the next day. I had enough time before the service began to find a quiet corner to practice the song and feel comfortable performing it. Everything happened just as Noah said it would.

I would like to thank Noah's spirit for the beautiful message and inspiring me to give it a human voice.

If you have found this video and if it has comforted you, please pass it on to others. It is meant to be shared.
And if you would like to purchase this song you can download it at my website:
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